Welcome to ask dr-robert.
Please feel free to explore . . .
There ARE no answers. Nothing important remains to be understood. Each moment of awareness is self-standing, unique, unconnected to any other. The habitual, autobiographical "myself" labors to connect all the moments together sequentially, like pearls on a string, producing a conventional narrative about my life and my imagined place in the world, but that is a only story I tell myself, a habit, a fiction.
Each perception, each thought, each feeling arises as a point of silence, an instant of stillness, independent of anything which ever happened before, a "once-upon-a-once."
The struggle to find "God," to attain "liberation," or to become "enlightened" continues, aided and abetted by the gurus, spiritual teachers, philosophers and priests, but all that is merely another story we tell ourselves. Meanwhile, whatever is simply is AS it is--incomprehensible, boundless, inexhaustible, ineffable, unfathomable--while "I" find myself naked in the now.
Dear Dr. Saltzman,
What role has discipline to play in
the process of becoming own's own teacher? Is discipline even possible when we
understand there is no such thing as 'will power'? I think that a teacher is
always needed. . . but I have been thinking that a teacher can arise also from
within. How can I let this 'inner teacher' shine through?
When I say that there is no such
thing as will power, I am speaking about living from true nature, in which
"you" and "the universe" are not separate in any way. As
long as you feel separation, then choice and will appear, and cannot be denied,
no matter what some teacher tells you. Under the spell of that apparent
separation between "myself" and the universe, the apparent separate
"myself" will need to "make choices," and use "will
power" to direct action and non-action. If you think about a time of
actual relaxation into the eternal NOW—we all have them—you will
immediately see the distinction I am making. From the vantage of that
at-one-ment, striving willfully for some future "improvement" is seen
for what it is, an illusion in service of ego.
The apparent outer teacher serves
only to carry the student's true teacher (the inner teacher, as you put it),
and to advocate for it, until the student begins to feel the truth of her existence.
Once that occurs, the outer teacher's work is over.
If you feel the need for
discipline, let it be this: Whenever a thought arises which does not need an
immediate practical response, simply let it pass. Use whatever
"discipline" you can muster to avoid making a random thought into a
story or narrative, especially avoiding any story which contains a
self-judgmental message or a fantasy of imagined "improvement." If
such a story begins to arise (many of us are in the habit of entertaining such
stories routinely, and pretty much unconsciously), use whatever "will
power" you imagine you have to cut it off right then and there.
Dr. Robert (replying to a
question): ALL your feelings are valid.
They are valid because they refer to previous emotional experiences which are
part of your personality and with which you still have to deal. But saying that
they are valid does not mean either that they give you a real, accurate picture
of how things are, or that you need those feelings to be there in order to
still be "you."
Questioner: Hearing that puts me into a state of panic. I would be alone without them.
Dr. Robert: You are really alone now. We all are. But clinging to ideas and beliefs, and calling them "mine" or "me" does nothing to change that aloneness.
Psychological freedom will never be achieved by means of logic or belief of any kind, but only by discarding beliefs in favor of being naked in the moment. Naked in the moment is reality. Beliefs are only fiction.
There is no doubt that turning ones
back on a mind full of beliefs can feel daunting and scary, but living with a
mind full of beliefs is no bargain either. Who really wants to live in a
haunted house?
That's what a mind full of beliefs
is like—a haunted house full of the ghosts of other people's ideas, other
people's beliefs, other people's mistreatment of themselves and of us as
children.
When we cling to a haunted house
and claim it as "mine," that is self-inflicted self-deception. One
could just as easily walk away from the house into the open air of NOW, leaving
behind all the pain. The pain is over—completely gone—unless you
continue to breathe new life into it with your mental energy. This is obvious:
the past exists only as thought, and thoughts have no power unless you give
them power.
Every time a shopworn, second-hand
thought arises, just say, "That's just some words. It doesn't mean
anything, I—the real myself—am here now, and that is NOT a thought,
but a reality—the only reality I will ever know.
Hello, Robert!
I have a question for you! What is "trust"? My old
ideas of trust just don't seem to fit anymore:) Well, Kirsten, words become
difficult in these matters because a word may have one meaning in ordinary
life, and another, entirely different meaning when speaking of true nature. In
ordinary life, what is called "trust" is based on previous positive
experiences.
Thanks,
Kirsten
Hi, Kirsten.
Words become difficult in these matters because a word may
have one meaning in ordinary life, and another, entirely different meaning when
speaking of true nature. In ordinary life, what is called "trust" is
based on previous positive experiences.For example, if I am in a strange town
for the first time, I might ask a native if the tap water is OK to drink. I
would not simply TRUST it. But in my own town, if I have been drinking the
water every day without problems, I will trust that it will be OK to drink
today too. When I walk, I trust that I am on solid ground. If I am not sure
(let's say I am hiking on some iffy ground), I might probe the ground with my
staff before I step on it in order to test whether I can TRUST the surface to
support my weight or not. If you have been my friend for years, and have always
kept my secrets private, I will TRUST you with a new secret. If I am just
meeting you, I will keep my secrets to myself. That is the ordinary meaning of
the word trust.
In the matter of awakening to true nature, that meaning of
trust is useless, and, in fact, counterproductive, because that kind of trust
requires making constant judgments and discriminations between what I like and
what I do not like, or what I want to happen and what I hope will not happen,
whereas living in true nature requires NOT making such judgments, but simply
being totally open to whatever IS in this very moment. In this very moment,
things are as they are and cannot be any different, and "I" am part
of that. Each moment is a moment of death and of rebirth, and all of that
simply is as it is. This, perhaps could be called trust in the universe, or
trust in life.
This is not easy ground, and I am finding it difficult to
get to the heart of it without having you here with me, face-to-face. Instead
of struggling on, allow me to quote a wonderful poem, The Mind of Absolute
Trust, by Seng-Ts'an (died 609), one of my favorite Taoist teachers. I am sure
this will be better than anything I might be able to say:
The Great Way
isn't difficult
for those who
are unattached to their preferences.
Let go of
longing and aversion,
and everything
will be perfectly clear.
When you cling
to a hairbreadth of distinction, heaven and earth are set apart.
If you want to
realize the truth,
don't be for or
against.
The struggle
between good and evil
is the primal
disease of the mind.
Not grasping the
deeper meaning,
you just trouble
your mind's serenity.
As vast as
infinite space,
it is perfect
and lacks nothing.
But because you
select and reject,
you can't
perceive its true nature.
Don't get
entangled in the world;
don't lose
yourself in emptiness.
Be at peace in
the oneness of things,
and all errors
will disappear by themselves.
If you don't
live the Tao,
you fall into
assertion or denial.
Asserting that
the world is real,
you are blind to
its deeper reality;
denying that the
world is real,
you are blind to
the selflessness of all things.
The more you
think about these matters,
the farther you
are from the truth.
Step aside from all
thinking,
and there is
nowhere you can't go.
Returning to the
root, you find the meaning; chasing appearances, you lose their source.
At the moment of
profound insight,
you transcend
both appearance and emptiness.
Don't keep
searching for the truth;
just let go of
your opinions.
For the mind in
harmony with the Tao,
all selfishness
disappears.
With not even a
trace of self-doubt,
you can trust
the universe completely.
All at once you
are free,
with nothing
left to hold on to.
All is empty,
brilliant,
perfect in its
own being.
In the world of
things as they are,
there is no
self, no non-self.
If you want to
describe its essence,
the best you can
say is "Not-two."
For the mind in
harmony with the Tao,
all selfishness
disappears.
With not even a
trace of self-doubt,
you can trust
the universe completely.
In this
"Not-two" nothing is separate,
and nothing in
the world is excluded.
The enlightened
of all times and places
have entered
into this truth.
In it there is
no gain or loss;
one instant is
ten thousand years.
There is no
here, no there;
infinity is
right before your eyes.
The tiny is as
large as the vast when objective boundaries have vanished;
the vast is as
small as the tiny,
when you don't
have external limits.
Being is an
aspect of non-being;
non-being is no
different from being.
Until you
understand this truth,
you won't see
anything clearly.
One is all; all
are one. When
you realize
this, what reason for holiness or wisdom?
The mind of
absolute trust
is beyond all
thought, all striving,
is perfectly at
peace; for in it
there is no
yesterday,
no tomorrow,
no today.
Interview on the WCOM-FM radio program Conversations With Avant-Garde Sages
Interview with John Lekay of Nonduality Magazine about spiritual awakening, and the nature of "nonduality.
Awakening Never Ends, a memoir about Robert's work as a psychotherapist and teacher of "awakening."
The Psychology of Awakening: A recorded conversation between Robert K. Hall M.D. and Robert Saltzman PhD.
Noticing awareness, and abiding in it requires no effort at all. You do not have to earn it, and you do not have to deserve it. Awareness, or presence is here now. Nothing needs to be added to this moment, and nothing can be added to it. But when I tell you this, you doubt it, and so you continue the relentless seeking—which is simply more egoic seeking. Calling it “spiritual seeking” or “practice” changes nothing but the name. Although this very moment is all we ever have, you continue to seek something “better,” something “higher,” something more “evolved,” some accomplishment you will eventually realize by following a supposed path. That fruitless search continues, and will continue until the fantasy of becoming exhausts itself and you find yourself at last, just as you always were.
Radio interview with, Benjamin Smythe, John Troy and Trip Overholt.
---Claire, writing on the Dr. Robert Forum.
Claire understood that the "past" no longer exists, except as thought. Then she saw that "oneself" is the KNOWING of thoughts, not the thoughts themselves. No one has to TRY to know, and no one can avoid knowing. Knowing simply arises spontaneously. That arising IS "you." The key to that door is the understanding that the past is gone forever. Although this seems obvious, some people have difficulty with that idea. The late great philosopher, Alan Watts, had wonderful ways of clarifying it. Here is one of them:
- your words, "how absurdly frightened" the ego is... they hit the mark.
- Is life pointless? Isn't everything just meaningless?
- How Can I Let Go Of Fear?
- Awakening Never Ends.
- Is awakening the same as forgetting the past? Isn't everything just meaningless?
- How Does a Doctor Deal With the Terrible Suffering He Sees Every Day?
- How Can I Awaken From Delusion Into Nonduality?
- Does the "I" Prior to Ego Have Any Characteristics? How is Nondual Awareness Different From Ego? What Did Joko Beck Say About Awakening to True Nature?
- Does awakening involve the disappearance of the ego or sense of a separate self?
- How Does An Awakened Person See The World, and How Can I Jump From Here To There?
- The Entire Spiritual Dilemma Boils Down To One Problem: Denial.
- What Is an Awakened State? What Is Non-Duality? How Can I Realize Freedom?
- I Love My Husband But I Am Not Attracted To Him, and I Fantasize About Other Men.
- They Say That When You Are Ready a Spiritual Teacher Will Come. Is This True?
- Can You Identify a Psychopath By the So-called, "Soulless, Psychopathic Stare?
- I Am a Young Muslim. I Found Out That My Girlfriend Is Not Pure. Now I Want To Kill Myself.
- Is It "Normal" to Wonder What People Look Like Naked?
- Confessions About Love, Relationships, Guilt, and the World From a Young Sociopath.
- How Do I Deal With Erotic Feelings Towards My Therapist?
- What is the Difference Between Love and Infatuation? (part two)
One common reason for consulting a psychotherapist seems worthy of urgent special mention here. If you suspect that you or someone you care for may be suffering from depression, please read am I depressed?, which deals with brain chemistry and depression, and discusses treatment of depression with medication, psychotherapy, or spiritual understanding as required.
Careful attention to diet, as well as daily physical exercise, is good not just for bodily health, but for improved emotional health too. In other words, mood disorders such as anxiety and depression should be not treated with medication and talk therapy alone, but rather with a combination of psychotherapy, medication (if necessary), properly chosen food and drink, daily aerobic exercise, and other healthy choices.
A growing body of scientific evidence suggests that finding happiness in life can improve physical health in profound ways. Mental health (insight and philosophical well-being), emotional health (happiness, contentment, and gratitude), and physical health (a sound body) are simply various aspects of a total state of being--the human being--and all three must be considered together in the course of any effective therapy
Increasing the proportion of beneficial foods in the diet can sometimes make dramatic changes in how one feels both physically and emotionally, and can often reduce the incidence of serious disease. A recent study, published in The Journal of the American Medical Association, suggests that one specific approach to diet, the so-called Mediterranean diet, probably is optimal for many people. If you have not been feeling well, please begin self-treatment by adopting some of my dietary recommendations.
If you you have questions or concerns that you have wanted to ask a psychologist--whether about lifestyle changes, about counseling and psychotherapy, about spirituality and spiritual unfoldment, or just about human life in general, please post your questions on the Dr. Robert Forum where they may open a discussion among forum regulars, many of whom bring intelligence, experience, and wisdom to these conversations. I check in on the forum regularly, and will contribute if and when necessary.
In addition, you may send an e-mail requesting a personal consultation. Please state your reason for wanting a meeting along with your times of availability.
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