Ask Psychologist Dr. Robert Saltzman, Ph.D.
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I will be glad to receive questions by e-mail from anyone who visits my website, and will reply to as many of them as possible in the time I have available. If your question is of general interest, I will publish it, along with my reply, here on the website. If I find that I can address a question in just a few words, I often send a personal email reply without publishing the question here on the site.
If you would like to send a comment--not a question for ask dr-robert, but a comment about the site in general, any of the questions sent to me, or about any of my replies to questions--visit the dr. robert forum where comments may be posted for all to see. Recently, the forum has become a place for deep and intriguing conversations. Most definitely worth checking out.
To the many people who have sent questions and still are waiting to hear from me, my apologies. When I began this website in 2004, my intention was to offer advice to those who otherwise might not have access to the ideas of an experienced psychotherapist. Happily, the site has been successful. In these past years I have received many thousands of questions from all over the planet, and have replied to hundreds of them--some here on the site, and many others privately.
Unfortunately, the very success of this website means that more and more questions must go unaddressed. My inbox is simply jammed with letters to "Dr. Robert"--so jammed in fact that I cannot even read all of them fully, much less reply. Even if I did not have my therapy practice here in Todos Santos, as well as other other responsibilities, there still would not be time to deal fully with this volume of mail. Evidently a significant number of people from all over the world want and need psychological advice and are finding it here. But I can do only what time allows, and so I will never be able to address the needs of everyone who visits this site. For that I am sorry.
If you send a question which remains unanswered after a week or two, please consider posting it on the dr. robert forum where it may receive helpful replies from the many visitors who monitor the forum daily.
If you are preparing to send me a question, it will stand a better chance of being read and answered if you keep your letter short and to the point, leaving out unnecessary background, and simply asking what it is you most want to ask. Honestly, when I open an email and find many hundreds of rambling words about minor details staring me in the face, I often just move on to the next letter. Not that I don't care--for I do feel and understand the pain and worry which underlies most of the letters I receive--but my time is limited, and I am forced to choose. I am doing the best I can to keep up, so please help by paring down your words to the minimum, and leaving out unnecessary detail. If English is not your native language, don't worry. I will understand.
If you send a question which remains unanswered after a week or two, please consider posting it on the dr. robert forum where it may receive helpful replies from the many visitors who monitor the forum daily.
Be advised: Since I will have only one shot at a reply to your question, I will neither mince words nor beat around the bush. If you approach me for advice, I will tell you exactly what I think. I try to be as kind, tactful, and gentle as possible, but I refuse to tap-dance around the issues as I see them. That would only be a waste of my time and yours. So if you ask a question, be prepared for a straight-forward, no-nonsense reply.
dr.robert.saltzman "at" gmail.com
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For a personal consultation with Dr. Saltzman in Todos Santos, send an email, mentioning briefly your reason for wanting a meeting, and your hours of availability.
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Robert Saltzman's Profile
© 2007 Robert Saltzman
Click on the many links to view past questions and replies. Be advised that the information on this website is not intended to replace the personal relationship between patient and physician or therapist, and that my replies to questions are not a substitute for psychotherapy. If you are seriously troubled, it is your responsibility to seek help from a qualified therapist who will meet with you personally.
- Is Psychology an Art Or a Science?
- My Husband Is a Hypocrite. He Claims To Be a Christian, But Masturbates Every Day To Pornography, Then Claims He Is Too Busy For Sex With Me.
- I Am a Young Muslim. I Found Out That My Girlfriend Is Not Pure. Now I Want To Kill Myself.
- I Got Falling Down Drunk and Then Fought With My Girlfriend. Next Day I Remembered Nothing That Happened, and This Is Not the First Time.
- My Brother's Girlfriend, the Mother Of His Child, Is Destroying Our Family.
- Please Suggest My Next Step In Therapy.
- Confessions About Love, Relationships, Guilt, and the World From a Young Sociopath.
- I Am Fourteen Years Old. I Feel Nothing For Others. I Am Attracted To Pain, Suffering, and Torture, Yet I Want To Avoid Hurting Others. How Can I Change?
- Confessions About Love, Relationships, Guilt, and the World From a Young Sociopath.
- Remembering a Childhood Sexual Incident Fills Me With Intense Guilt and Self-loathing.
- I Was Used and Abused By a Lover, and Now Fantasize About Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence.
- I Am Afraid That I Am Going Insane.
- I Feel Nervous in Public Areas, and Feel, Unreasonably I Know, That I Am Always a Center of Attention.
- I Was Victimized By a Psychopathic Lover. I Left Him Years Ago, But I Cannot Get Him Out Of My Mind.
- I Am Obsessed With My Therapist, and Feel Totally Alienated By the Analytic Distance He Maintains.
- I Worry About My Daughter Whose Father Seems To Be a Sociopath.
- Can You Identify a Psychopath By the So-called, "Soulless, Psychopathic Stare?
- I Have Met My Soul Mate, But He is Married. What Shall I Do?
- Is My Friend a Pedophile?
- Can a Psychopath Ever Learn to Change?
- Can a Psychopath Be Taught Values and Morals?
- Am I a Sociopath (Psychopath)? Will People Think I Am a Monster? Do You Find Me Awful?
- My Father Beat a Dog To Death, and Now Claims His Brutality Had No Bad Effect On Me As a Five Year Old Child.
- Another Depression Question.
- I Carry a Heavy Burden. I Fear That I Am a Pedophile.
- I'm Afraid That I Am Bisexual, and Have No One To Tell.
- How Do Psychotherapists Deal With Their Own Problems?
- What Is A Good Occupation For a Psychopath?
- I Live In a Foreign Country, and Have Become Depressed. Would Therapy in My Second Language Work For Me?
- My Christian Parents Refuse To Accept My Atheism.
- How Can I Fall In Love With My Boyfriend?
- I Have Been Sexually Abused By My Therapist, But I Am Blaming Myself For What Happened.
- My Wife Was Sexually Abused, and Now Blames Everything She Doesn't Like On Others. Is This Normal?
- I Have Fallen In Love With My Therapist, and This Is Not Transference.
- I Fear I Am a Potential Serial Killer.
- What Is The Difference Between a Sociopath (Psychopath) and a Person With the Dark Triad of Personality Traits?
- My Father Molested My Three Year Old Daughter. Does That Mean That My Father Also Molested Me When I Was a Child?
- Can a Psychopath Be Helped to Change? (Letters From Two Self-Described Psychopaths)
- I Have a Crush On My New Therapist. Should I Tell Her?
- How Do I Deal With Fear of Flying, and Fear of Speed?
- Is There An End To Suffering? (audio presentation).
- I Am Trying To Control My New Girlfriend By Keeping Her All To Myself.
- Regarding My Son Who Is Diagnosed With Schizophrenia and Thought Disorder.
- I'm Tired Of Hearing That Watching Porn Is a Normal Guy Thing.
- Am I Depressed? (update)
- After Living Most Of My Life As a Dynamic, Energetic Person, I Now Feel Weak and Cannot Focus on Anything.
- My Girlfriend Asked For Space, But I Could Not Let Her Alone. Is This Obsessional Behavior?
- After Kicking My Drug Habit, I Became Suddenly Antisocial. Am I a Sociopath?
- Obsessed and Guilty About Childhood Sexuality.
- I Believe That I Am a Psychopath. Can You Explain To Me Why Other People Feel the Guilt and Sorrow Which I Never Feel?
- I Have Never Had a Girlfriend. I Feel Abandoned By God. Is This Borderline Personality Disorder?.
- My Mother Demands That I Lie About My Father's Having Molested Me.
- How Should a Child Molester Feel Now?
- I Am Guilty About My Foot Fetish and Especially My Childhood Experimentation With It.
- Help! I Am a Young Teenager Becoming Addicted To Yiffy Pornography
- My Need For Sex Is Not Matched By My Girlfriend, and I Have Been Getting Sex Elsewhere.
- My Uncle Repeatedly Molested Me, and Now He Wants Me To Sing a Song He Has Requested At My Grandmother's Wake.
- I Believe I Am a Sociopath. I Have No Conscience. I Want To Be In Love. Is That Possible?
- Is Childhood Sexuality Normal?
- How Can I Find a Therapist Who Won't Belittle My Concerns?
- How Is Childhood Sexual Experimentation Different From Incest? When Is Sexual Experimentation Abnormal?
- Why Do Boys Stare At My Breasts?
- My Mother Suffers From Multiple Sclarosis (MS), and Feels Totally Defined By Her Disease. How Can I Help?
- I Believe I Could Be Psychopathic (Sociopathic).
- Could Xanax Be Robbing Me Of My Emotions? (update)
- I Am a Psychopathic Soldier. Is There Any Help For Me?
- How Can I Deal With My Passive-Aggressive Personality Without Informing My Parents?
- My Boyfriend Drinks Too Much, Cheats On Me, and Lies To Me. Am I Codependent?
- I Am Afraid Of My Desires For Attachment to Another Man.
- My Therapist Tells Me Everything About His Private Life, Including His Sex Life. Is This OK?
- My Husband's Strange Jokes Worry Me.
- I Got an Erection While Holding My New Baby and Now I Am Afraid That I Am a Pedophile.
- My Therapist Is Leaving. Is It OK To Give Her a Gift?
- Help! I Am Paralyzed By Sexual Guilt.
- My Grandfather Molested Me Repeatedly, and Now, at Sixteen, I Am Depressed. My Mom Won't Help. What Do You Suggest?
- Does Your Faith Have an Answer To Every Social and Economic Problem? Mine Does.
- I Feel Misunderstood. Am I Misjudging My Therapist?
- Is Psychology a Science?
- My Boyfriend Is a Passive-Aggressive Womanizer Who Has Sex With Many Women, and Lies To Me About It. Could He Be Sociopathic (Psychopathic)?
- I May Be Schizophrenic. Can I Live a Healthy Life Without Medication?
- How Can I Expand Spiritual Awareness?
- Help! I Am a Sadist. I Love to Hurt People and Cause Pain. I Have Bought a Knife and Plan to Murder My Mother.
- I Seem To Have Married the Wrong Man. Now I Feel Hopeless.
- I Am Having Hallucinations and Paranoid Delusions. The Doctor Gave Me Xanax, and the Minister Sprinkled Me With Holy Water, But Those Things Aren't Helping.
- Help! My Mother Is Depressed and Emotionally Demanding, and Insists That My Daughters Spend Excessive Amounts Of Time With Her.
- I Love My Husband But I Am Not Attracted To Him, and I Fantasize About Other Men.
- I Am Afraid That My New Husband Molested My Six Year Old Girl?
- Can Some Mild Psychopaths Have a Conscience, Love Others, and Be Empathic?
- Can a Woman With Borderline Personality Disorder Become Dangerously Violent?
- How Do I Help My Son Who Has Formal Thought Disorder and Will Not Take His Medication?
- I Am in Despair. I Hate My Life. I Find No Meaning in Anything.
- I Am a Woman With the Libido of a Man.
- I See No Positive Future. What Should I Do?
- Was I Molested By My Own Sister? By My Mom?
- Please Give Me Advice On How To Choose a Therapist.
- My Friend Sees and Hears Jesus. Is He Delusional?
- What Do We Tell Our Child About the Gay Couple Next Door?
- What is the Difference Between Love and Infatuation? (part two)
- How Do I Help My Son Who Is a Sociopath (Psychopath)?
- Is It Possible To Have Both Unipolar and Biopolar Depression?
- Help! I Am Lonely and Suicidal.
- Was This an Hallucination? Could I Be Psychotic?
- How Do I Help My Boyfriend Who Has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)?
- Could Xanax Be Robbing Me Of My Emotions?
- How Do You Handle a Bully?
- I Have Been Cheating On My Husband. Should I Confess?
- I Fear That I Am Homosexual and Think Of Suicide.
- I Have a Church Problem.
- I Have Lost Feelings For My Boyfriend. Could Prozac Be Responsible?
- I Am Worried By My Mother's Strange Behavior.
- I Am a Psychopath.
- I Was Sexually Abused As a Child, and Know I Need Therapy, But I Am Afraid To Remember What Happened To Me.
- How Can I Stop Favoring One Child Over Another?
- Culture Clash: A Middle Eastern Girl in America Lying to Her Parents About Boyfriend and Sex.
- My Boyfriend Seems Kind and Loving, But Has A Terrible Temper.
- I Made Love to My Dead Girlfriend. Is This Necrophilia?
- Help! I Am a Special Forces Operative, and Have Begun Cutting Myself.
- I Am Masturbating and Having Sexual Thoughts About My Mother.
- What Is The Answer, Doctor?
- My Therapist Has Violated My Sense of Privacy
- Please Help Me to Stop Masturbating!
- My Therapist Tells Me All About His Life.
- Does Zoloft Reduce Creativity?
- Reply From the Jealous Girlfriend.
- Should We Have a Baby to Save Our Marriage?
- Help! I Don't Know How To Release the Pain.
- Help Me! My Girlfriend Is Terribly Jealous of My Young Son.
- Is It "Normal" to Wonder What People Look Like Naked?
- I Just Found Out That My Good Friend Is a Pedophile.
- My Son Is About to Marry, and I Am Sure He Is Making a Big Mistake.
- In My Second Year of College, I Still Have and 8 o'clock Curfew.
- I Invited My Best Friend For Three-Way Sex With Me and My Husband, and Now Feel Terrible.
- I Am a Sociopath. Can I Ever Learn to Love?
- Help! My Husband Is Totally Attached To His Mother.
- My Father Is Sexually Attracted To Me.
- My Girlfriend and I Are Struggling With Issues of Trust and Control.
- Help! My Boyfriend Is Obsessed With Lack of Sex.
- How Do I Get Over Someone Who Has Dumped Me?
- My Best Friend Won't Return My Calls. Please Help.
- What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
- My Boyfriend Constantly Dreams of Leaving Me For Another Woman.
- I Am In Love With My Gynecologist and Wondering Why He Does Not Respond.
- How Do I Choose Between a Life of Service or Pursuing My Own Happiness?
- Phobia: Why Am I Terrified By Butterflies?
- I Feel That I Am Splitting My Emotions From My Actions.
- I Can't Stop Thinking About Death.
- Is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Normal?
- I Am Araid That I Am a Slave To My Boyfriend.
- My Roommate Is a Total Pig.
- I Feel Guilty For Rubbing My Penis On Another Child.
- I Am Attracted To My Gynecologist.
- Should I "Play It Cool" With My Boyfriend To Stop Him From Playing Jealousy Games With Me?
- I Looked At A Child's Vagina, and Now I Am Disgusted With Myself.
- I Constantly Find Myself Surrounded By Sin.
- I Cannot Show Love For My Daughter and I Do Not Know Why.
- My New Boyfriend Can't Maintain His Erection.
- My Dad Is Disappointed In Me, and I Am Crying Myself To Sleep Over It.
- How Can I Talk To My Neurotic Father?
- Chronic Pain From Arthritis Is Changing My Personality.
- I Feel Obligated to Give My Boyfriend Oral Sex.
- My Ex-Boyfriend Is A Psychic Vampire.
- Help! My Ex-Girlfriend Won't Speak To Me, and I Am Stalking Her.
- My Girlfriend Has Lost All Interest In Sex.
- How Can I Help My Catholic Boyfriend to Get Over His Guilt About Sex?
- I Am Falsely Accused of Child Sexual Abuse, and My Daughter Has Been Taken From Me. What Now?
- Don't You Realize That Without Faith Life Is Empty?
- What Is Reality?
- Help! I Am Suffering From Delusions and Hallucinations.
- Why Is Sex With My Husband So Much Better After I Cheat On Him?
- I Fear That I Am Being Stalked By a "Fatal Attraction" Type of Woman.
- I Feel Like Jumping From a Rooftop. Please Help.
- Is My Husband a Pornography Addict?
- Do Older People In Long Term Care Need Consistancy?
- My Boyfriend Wants Three-Way Sex, and I Hate The Idea. What Now?
- My Boyfriend Is An Alcoholic But Won't Admit It. What Do I Do Now?
- Paxil No Longer Works for Me. What Next?
- Letter From a Wounded Healer.
- Attracted to Young, Beautiful Friend of the Family.
- How Do I Deal With My Passive-Agressive Husband?
- I Have Good Days and Bad Days. How Do I Deal With These Mood Swings?
- Help! I Am Guilty and Depressed.
- My Husband Has Left Me. Can Marriage Counseling Help?
- My Mother is Ill, and No Doctor Can Find Out Why.
- Is Ketamine Helpful for Depression?
- I Am Afraid That My Therapy Will End Up With My Feeling Broken-Hearted.
- Are My Boyfriend's Fantasies About Sex With Other Women Normal?
- What is the Difference Between Love and Infatuation?
- How Can I Stop Tearing At My Own Skin?
- I Am Being Home Schooled, Miss My Friends, and Think I May Be Depressed.
- What Constitutes Abuse?
- Could Zoloft Make Me Afraid of People?
- Can Emotional Abuse Lead To Strange Sexual Practices?
- Has My Therapist Violated Boundaries?
- My Boyfriend Is a Pornography Addict.
- I Am Suspicious Of My Doctor's Motives In Hugging Me.
- I Am Guilty About Sex With a Dog.
- Help. I Am Sexually Attracted To My Step Daughter.
- Drunk Step Father Fondles Step Daughter.
- Should I Forgive My Boyfriend Who Molested Twenty Years Ago?
- I Cannot Climax With My Boyfriend. Was I Abused As a Child?
- Is It OK For a Child to See Her Father Naked?
- My Boyfriend Cannot Stand Conflict. What Should I Do?
- What Are the Limits of Professional Confidentiality?
- My Step Son Shaves His Arms. Is There a Problem?
- Help! I Am Being Beaten and Abused.
- I'm Worried About a Man I Met Online.
- Is Masturbation Harmful?
- How Does a Therapist Deal With Suicidal Ideas?
- Trouble With Born-Again Grandpa.
- How Do I Get Off Medication for Anxiety?
- How Can I Control My Girlfriend's Behavior?
- Is This Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?
- How Do I Leave My Depressed Boyfriend?
- How Can We Help Our Introverted, Frightened Son?
- How Do I Get Over a Lost Love?
- What Makes a Good Therapist?
- Help! My Husband Is Cruising Yahoo Personals.
- Is This Substance Abuse?
- Why Can't I Find Someone to Love?
- I Am Afraid That My Boyfriend Is Bisexual.
- How Can I Help My Son With Survivor Guilt?
- Is My Penis Big Enough For Sex?
- Help! I Am Frightened By My Own Mother.
- I'm On the Verge of Insanity. Please Help Me Escape This Torture.
- Help! My Young Son Is Experimenting With Sex.
- How Do I Help My Socially Withdrawn Brother?
- How Do I Deal With Being Painfully Shy?
- Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder.
- Why Does My Grilfriend Dream About Sex?
- Problems With My Father.
- Need Help With High Cholesterol.
- Why Can't I Stabilize In MY True Nature?
- I Am Afraid That I Sexually Abused My Dog.
- I Married For Culture, Not Love. Now What?
- My Brother Demands Too Much Of My Attention.
- My Son Molested My Daughter, and I Cannot Come To Terms With It.
- I Fake Orgasm With My Boyfriend, and I Fantasize About Sex With Women. Could I Be Bisexual?
- My Partner Is Infatuated With Her Doctor.
- Help! I Am Utterly Obsessed With My Ex.
- Afraid to Make Eye Contact. Afraid to Show My Facial Expressions. Please Help.
- Is It Depression or Just Teenage Angst?
- When Nervous I Cannot Stop Sweating.
- How Can I Have a Healthy Relationship With a Man?
- I Feel Compelled to Finish Any Task I Start.
- Should I Pursue Psychotherapy for Sexual Abuse?
- Is There a Way to Recover Blocked Memories?
- How Can I Deal With Memories Of My Father Molesting Me?
- How Do I Deal With Erotic Feelings Towards My Therapist?
- Depressed and Avoiding Treatment?
- How Do I Help My Anorectic Girlfriend?
- Help: Our Son Is Wearing My Wife's Underwear
- Should We Marry?
- Passive-Aggressive Personality Is Destroying My Life.
- Daughter Grieving Over Changing Schools.
- Is My Daughter Codependent? Is She Boycrazy?
- Birth Order: What Is The Middle Child Syndrome?
- Cutting Myself, Disgusted With My Sexuality. Please Help.
- How Do I Get My Husband to Apologize When He Does Wrong?
- How Do I Deal With My Passive-Aggressive Friend?
- Why Do You Criticize Religion?
- I Was Sexually Abused. Please Help!
- Help! I Am On the Verge Of Suicide
- How Do I Help My Delusional Grandmother?
- How Do Get Over Feeling Guilty About My Suicide Attempt?
- How Do I Convince My Girlfriend That Her Doctor Is No Good?
- How Do I Deal With an Alcoholic Relative?
- How Do I Get Over Being Dumped By My Boyfriend?
- How Can I Teach My Girlfriend to Enjoy Gentle Sex?
- How Can I Stop Being Embarrassed About Using Antidepressants?
- Why Do I Find Comfort In My Bath Towel?
- What Can I Do For My Delusional Friend?
- I Am Bi-Polar and Believe That I Have Avoidant Personality As Well
- My Girlfriend Is Suicidal and Is Hearing Voices
- Help! I Am Terribly Shy
- Help! I Am Obsessed With My Ex-Boyfriend
- I Feel Guilty About Childhood Sex Play
- Can Formal Thought Disorder Be Treated?
- How Can I Deal With Chronic Illness?
- How Can I Improve My Social Life?
- How Do I Deal With Not Being Beautiful?
- Why Do I Lose Interest In My Girlfriends?
- What Do You Recommend For My Patient Who Was Abused As a Child?
- Why Do I Have Conversations With Myself?
- Why Do I Have Fantasies of Sexual and Non Sexual Abuse?
- Why Do I Avoid All Social Contact?
- What Is the Correct Way To Make Eye Contact?
- Is My Husband an Adulterer?
- Was I Molested As a Child?
- What About Christian Marriage Counseling?
- Is My Boyfriend Co-dependent?
- Can You Suggest Recipes for Weight Loss and Good Mental, Physical, and Emotional Health?
- How Do I Deal With Self-injurous Behavior: I Am Cutting Myself?
- Is My Sister Seriously Depressed?
- Help! My Daughter Was Sexually Molested By My Boyfriend.
- How Do I Deal With My Depressed Mother?
- How Do We Know If Our Couples Counseling Is Working For Us?
- What Is Spritual Unfoldment?
- Was I Abused As a Child?
- I Am Afraid That My Penis Is Too Small.
- What Are the Two Kinds of Meditation?
- Am I Depressed?
- Living In the Present
- Please Suggest a Diet for Weight Loss
- Proper Nutrition for Physical, Mental, and Emotional Steadiness and Stability
- How Can I Forgive Sexual Abuse?
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